A short interlude: Girl gamers

It just feels like yesterday where I was just a kid and playing video games was a guy thing to do. Girls thought it was dumb for the most part, although I did know a few that actually played. Come 2009 and now there are plenty of girls playin games. That's fine and dandy. More people to play with.

Then comes the picture -->.


Girls can play games. Go right ahead. Be happy. Play them games. More power to you. Help me make money by buying stuff I'll (hopefully) make in the future. Just don't use it as an excuse for attention, please? I like the mentality of, "Hey, I'm a girl who games, ain't it cool?", not, "HEY, I'M A GIRL GAMER, LOOK AT ME!!."

Thankfully enough, I don't know anyone like that (Jo? But Jo's a man =D)

Games, Street Fighter, and no part 2

In fear that I'll get reprimanded some more and offend more people, I'll just leave out part 2. I will say this, however. Part 2 was supposed to be about what defines us as Asians. You hear some people go around saying, "That's so Asian", or "You're so Asian" and I ask them what that really means. Whoever reads this damn thing, I'll write about it, if so desired.

This past weekend was the West Coast Super Battle Opera 2009 Qualifiers for Street Fighter IV and Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike. Every year since I got into the fighting game scene, which was around the time the Justin Wong/Daigo parry video came out, I would check the forums all the big tournament results, exciting videos and matches. This year was particularly interesting because it was (as far as I can remember) the first time the fighting game community actually did something to broadcast a major tournament live. Not just the matches, but as the overall feeling of the tournament and the atmosphere.

Here's the video of the Grand Finals of the qualifier.

It is exciting to watch this for many reasons. With what little resources these people had, they managed to get this thing off the ground and on the internet, despite the stream crashing multiple times. The limit on views was about 1000, but thousands more were probably watching this stream from the beginning (which was around 12 in Cali, to 2 AM)

Watching this helps convey what the fighting game community is all about. There's just alot of hype goin around and that's what makes it so special. It goes beyond just pressing buttons and watching the characters hit each other until someone wins.

Watching the quals shows that games have come a long way in general. From its simple roots to its complicated development of today, games evolved immensely in the past near 30 years. No one would've imagined that it would grow beyond a hobby thing for kids. Is this where it stops though. Is this where games peak? One can only imagine. Microsoft got that crazy project Natal thing going on. Sony finally delivers with some decent projects. Nintendo is (maybe) trying to do some new things. Only time will get.

I will leave you with this.

Asian People and how they confuse me, part 1

People confuse me in general, but today, we're gonna focus on my people, the Asians.

While on facebook today, I read a status and it went:

"everyone in this asian world knows someone who knows somebody else who knows more asians"

How true this is. Somehow we all know each other, despite going to different schools, having different jobs or just having radically different backgrounds. We all just know each other, which I think is pretty nifty. It pays well to know the right people. However, let me ask my fellow Asians something. How many of you know people that are not Asian? Now I don't mean, "I know his/her name" and that's it. I mean, you know person fairly well. You know some tidbits or talk to this person sometimes. It's what we call friends. Facebook may have made us use the word more loosely these days, having us know personal stuff in their lives, and yet only know them at an arms reach. But I digress.

Honestly, ask yourself. How many people do you legittimately know that are not Asian. Everywhere I go, I see varying levels of cliqueyness. Some will hang exclusively with their fellow Asian people, like the crazy Koreans (unless I'm wrong and they're not angry folk who like to tell people to die all the time =P. Really, Koreans! If I'm wrong, let me know!). And then you have dopes like me who play the equal opportunity card and branch out. I try at least.

When with the yellow people, I used to mention my little escapades in the Bronx if they ask me what's been goin on. I would get stares telegraphing the question of why I'm there. Barring school, or maybe a yankee game, I'm sure alot of them barely step foot past 125th street, saving the exception of a few. Why have the need to go in a not so hot neighborhood, when they know they're safe with their fellow people in the surrounding neighborhoods near home.

And then I ask them why not. I have friends there. I used to think that the Asians judged me alot, just because I wasn't exclusively one of them. Not so much now, since things like racial boundaries are more trivial the more I see it as that way. Rather, if they still do, they're somewhat foolish for not going outside their comfort zone. I ain't missin out on meeting new people.

That isn't saying people of other races aren't guilty of it either. Blacks stick with Blacks. Hispanics are with their people. Of course people of the same cultural background stay with each other. The reasoning is sound. Birds of a feather, flock together. But why do I have to abide by the rules. I really don't and I don't have to and you don't have to either.


Stay tuned for part 2
-Nick

Encounters with a Japanese international student

It's fun to meet new people. You get a chance to see what they're like, where they come from, and possibly learn something (which is something people don't really do these days).

So, this quarter, I met Hazuki, a girl from Japan studying here. Being "friends" (more on that later) shed some light on Japanese mentality, for girls at least, or maybe this particular mindset belongs to those from Yokohama. From what I understand, people from Osaka are all sorts of laid back and open to anything, while those from Tokyo aren't so much.

So when I first met her, it was the usual trappings. Meet and greet. Say hi. Wow her with the language speaking skills (or lack thereof). Granted, she was impressed and things went well from there. A few hangouts with my little group of friends, and it was good times all around. However, we actually got know each other and things kind of went down hill from there.

Down hill, not so much in the sense that we would fight or argue. Rather, down hill due to high contrasting personalities. Think about it, if you will, the personality of myself, usually happy and optimistic, but rather blunt and straightforward. I will have a good time, but I will not beat around the bush if the occasion needs it. Compare that to her. I am not sure how to put it, so I believe "Planet B-Boy" puts it best:

Japanese education stresses homogenization which is reflected in the proverb, "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down"

Homogenization. Conformism? Uniformity? The whole idea of homogenization may explain a few things. Hazuki was not really down for talking about personal issues when things were clearly bothering her. A simple thing like a hug or touching in general, I found, was a thing that Japanese people don't do, for whatever reason, and it set her off kilter. Rather than say so, she kept her mouth shut. Very rarely, she would tell me something that's bothering her or just something on her mind. It was just a very "Things are ok mentality" and that's it. Not to say that is a bad thing. Things were lively when she was around. It is just that when it needed to be, she didn't keep it real.

However, this is all biased perspective. It seemed I was the only one that made her uncomfortable, for whatever reason. One interesting time was when we were at the basement of the Student Union, where the arcade machines are. I was playing, doing my thing, being good, apparently (I just consider myself mildly decent, considering I know people that can double-A stuff, but remember, it's all perspective). After doing paranoia survivor, she noted that doing songs like those are impossible, almost non-human. I responded that nothing is impossible. It's just that people don't try and just hold themselves back. She insisted that it was, quipping that I was a little non-human when I asked her if I wasn't human for being able to do all the things that I do.

Hopefully, this uneasiness will cease, cause really, this whole tension thing kinda silly, dontcha think? Here's to wondering what will happen after the summer when I see her for the next two quarters.

Stay safe, stay thinking
-Nick

So much to think about! Capoeira edition

So much to think about, and yet so little time to write about it. Online at least. I've been keeping my thoughts to myself, luckily, in the form of notebooks. Since...I'd say around February, the notebook where I keep my bible study notes became the notebook for just about everything. Observations, thoughts, sketches, bible study things and the like. Really, it's useful to have a notebook on you. You never know when you need to jot something down, cause texting a note in your phone or just trying to remember it won't cut it.

So Capoeira.

The Afro-Brazilian martial art that can be considered or confused as a dance, whoever you're talking to. Some people think it's stupid. Some people think it's wonderful. Whatever they feel, it's rather big, and at the same time, it's not. The interesting about Capoeira is that, to me, it's everywhere, but a lot of my friends really don't know what it is, or even never heard of it. I see giant roda's, small roda's, containing people of different walks of life that practice it. It had its origins in Africa and/or Brazil and then, somehow, into todays world, made its way to Japan, Israel, the US, Canada, and different parts of Europe. You name it, Capoeira is probably there, SOMEWHERE.

Even in a town like Rochester.

It's been a great past 3 weeks for me and capoeira. Coming from 2 quarters of an endless barrage of work, I was so out of practice when I started practicing again a couple of weeks before the ImagineRIT event, and then a week after, the Batizado. I hated it. I hated not being able to play and I hated being so out of practice. Work takes priority, does it not?

Nevertheless, playing week after week in the last couple of weeks have been great. It has reinvigorated my willingness to improve, especially when the Batizado came along. It was my first all day event, and it was the first time in a while since I've played someone from outside of the club. Trying new things was refreshing. Playing new people made me wonder how my game can improve. In small steps? Leaps and bounds? We'll see.

Here's to summer training.

-Nick

Truth and Reconciliation

When is the right time to forgive and forget? Are we even in the right mind when we do so, and is the recipient even taking this gracious act to heart, or just saying nice things to get it over with?
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The other night, my friend and I were talking about holding things to heart, the old scars that haven't really healed, and considering whether reconciliation is even worth it or not. Said friend, a long time ago, came to have a strained relationship with some other individual. Although sparse on details, my friend explained the internal workings of now. There's some acknowledgment on both parties, but other than that, forgiveness has not been achieved. Unfortunate.

One has to wonder how long do we have to hold on before we move on, if we ever can. Everyone's different, for sure. Some forgive easy. Some just hold grudges. Personally, I just get mad for a sec, let it burn out of my system, and just move on with life. Things happen. I hope whoever did me wrong would learn their lesson, but ultimately that's up to them to step back, see what they did, and reflect in return. Easy for some, complicated for others. Wounds could go deep and healing could take years. Everything is just so situational.

Lets not forget, though, that it takes two to tango. We can forgive all we want, but what if the recipient does not even try to take that to heart; that this person is making the effort to try to save something that he or she considers worth it, and yet they don't realize it. What fools we can be! We have this insane capability to love, and yet we can take it away in an instant. What I hate the most, above all, is facades: fake identities that we create just to keep appearances. Obviously, we behave differently among different people, but then there's that line where we just pretend things are okay when they may not be. Receiving forgiveness just to make the other person happy is something I don't agree with. It gives a person a false sense of security, that false sense of accomplishment and some false sense of hope. Why do we do such dumb things? It's not the truth. It isn't sincere. I suppose, it's to make the person happy. A harmless lie? Harmless until it comes and bites you back, is what I'd say.

So really, how do we do it, or why? I guess, to be the better person. Or maybe to rub it in the faces of those watching, saying that "I have moved on. There are bigger things to worry about." One thing I hope though, is that our hearts are into the feelings we put behind this receiving and giving, not just some cheap lie fabricated for conveience's sake. Think about what I'm saying.

Merry Christmas, ya'll. Say safe

me being confused and/or whiny: An introduction

Sometimes I wonder if the extra amount of intensity behind my emotions is a good or bad thing.

When I get happy, I'm over enthusiastic. When I get angry, I just lose my cool, forget about the real situation and just go at it. When I love, it's rather blindsided and sometimes too much to handle. When I'm sad, I just drown myself in that garbage for a few days, taking it deeply to heart. I don't know if it's just the human condition, or me personally. What I do know, however, is that keeping emotions in check is rather important.

Right now, I'm not exactly miserable, but I'm not happy either. Sometimes I wonder if this emptiness if subconsciously self-inflicting or it's something else. Like something's missing and this mind and body of mine has been craving for fulfillment for the longest. Maybe it's a girl. Maybe its a lack of purpose. Companionship? Boredom? It could be a multitude of things. It's something to think about.


What was I talking about again?