It's something that people don't do.
My family doesn't do it. My friends don't do it.
I don't do it. It's something we're all guilty of once in a while.
Recently, a friend of mine did something that I told him not to. I basically told him not to ask about something my other friend told me about. Secrets, ya know? I was mad. Furious, maybe. I told him specifically not to do it. I trusted him and he just did it anyway. It was because he didn't think before what he said.
But then again, if you think about it, I didn't listen to my friend either. I didn't keep my secret like I was supposed to. So who am I to pass judgment when I am guilty of not listening myself?
We all make mistakes. We're only human. If only were it so easy to understand that fact and just forgive. Some people just don't forget and remember the things that hurt us and learn to be not so trusting to avoid getting burned again. No one wants to get burned again. I should know. Rejections, betrayals and uneasy truths. I have had my fair share of those, but it was my optimism that made me learn slower than the average person.
In this generation, which I call the ADD(attention deficit syndrome) generation, we're so busy and so occupied with the many things that bombard us everyday. The internet has become rampant with so much content that sometimes we just feel compelled to just consume it. Work runs our lives because people demand from us so much. Those are just two things, among many, that prevent us to just stop and listen. Like the sounds around you. Like the people that you care about and that care about you. Most of all, it prevents you from listening to yourself, the most important voice of all. I think if we just stopped for a change, we wouldn't have as many problems such as the one that plagues me currently.
So, friend of mine. I hope you listen.
I'm sorry. I don't care if you don't believe me. I say those two words from the bottom of my heart. I mean, it's all I can say. There's no excuses. No fancy frills. I did what I did and I voided your trust in me. I just fuckin' fucked up. I guess all you wanted was someone to listen to you and I messed up in that too. Why I told him what you told me, I don't know. In retrospect, he should've been the last person to tell. I figured since he knew how I felt, he could help me help you. Guessed wrong. I care about you. I really do. Otherwise I wouldn't grief so much. I don't know if you'll ever understand how I feel. Maybe you do already. Regardless, I still will. I'll just let God do what he wants and leave things to him.
Stay safe and have a nice day.
2 comments:
You're one of the realest people i know, nick, and i admire your forthrightness. keep it up.
it's true...people don't listen. but beyond that, most people don't even realize that they're not listening. so kudos to you for coming to that realization.
...you're not emo. definitely not.
What's troubling is that even when people do hear what you say, they seem to fail to grasp the meaning. This is the only reason I can think for some of the incongruous responses one gets.
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