Truth and Reconciliation

When is the right time to forgive and forget? Are we even in the right mind when we do so, and is the recipient even taking this gracious act to heart, or just saying nice things to get it over with?
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The other night, my friend and I were talking about holding things to heart, the old scars that haven't really healed, and considering whether reconciliation is even worth it or not. Said friend, a long time ago, came to have a strained relationship with some other individual. Although sparse on details, my friend explained the internal workings of now. There's some acknowledgment on both parties, but other than that, forgiveness has not been achieved. Unfortunate.

One has to wonder how long do we have to hold on before we move on, if we ever can. Everyone's different, for sure. Some forgive easy. Some just hold grudges. Personally, I just get mad for a sec, let it burn out of my system, and just move on with life. Things happen. I hope whoever did me wrong would learn their lesson, but ultimately that's up to them to step back, see what they did, and reflect in return. Easy for some, complicated for others. Wounds could go deep and healing could take years. Everything is just so situational.

Lets not forget, though, that it takes two to tango. We can forgive all we want, but what if the recipient does not even try to take that to heart; that this person is making the effort to try to save something that he or she considers worth it, and yet they don't realize it. What fools we can be! We have this insane capability to love, and yet we can take it away in an instant. What I hate the most, above all, is facades: fake identities that we create just to keep appearances. Obviously, we behave differently among different people, but then there's that line where we just pretend things are okay when they may not be. Receiving forgiveness just to make the other person happy is something I don't agree with. It gives a person a false sense of security, that false sense of accomplishment and some false sense of hope. Why do we do such dumb things? It's not the truth. It isn't sincere. I suppose, it's to make the person happy. A harmless lie? Harmless until it comes and bites you back, is what I'd say.

So really, how do we do it, or why? I guess, to be the better person. Or maybe to rub it in the faces of those watching, saying that "I have moved on. There are bigger things to worry about." One thing I hope though, is that our hearts are into the feelings we put behind this receiving and giving, not just some cheap lie fabricated for conveience's sake. Think about what I'm saying.

Merry Christmas, ya'll. Say safe

me being confused and/or whiny: An introduction

Sometimes I wonder if the extra amount of intensity behind my emotions is a good or bad thing.

When I get happy, I'm over enthusiastic. When I get angry, I just lose my cool, forget about the real situation and just go at it. When I love, it's rather blindsided and sometimes too much to handle. When I'm sad, I just drown myself in that garbage for a few days, taking it deeply to heart. I don't know if it's just the human condition, or me personally. What I do know, however, is that keeping emotions in check is rather important.

Right now, I'm not exactly miserable, but I'm not happy either. Sometimes I wonder if this emptiness if subconsciously self-inflicting or it's something else. Like something's missing and this mind and body of mine has been craving for fulfillment for the longest. Maybe it's a girl. Maybe its a lack of purpose. Companionship? Boredom? It could be a multitude of things. It's something to think about.


What was I talking about again?