School's been underway and it's that time again to get into the groove of things. I have, and getting into the routine sometimes ain't no thang. Real easy. I just don't want to finish school, because then I would have to face reality. I suppose that I have to slowly eat it and just make the transition, slowly. That includes the ensuing job hunt and the coming job fair. Crossin my fingers here and hope I get something desirable.
Amidst all the work, the job worries and just getting on with life, you know what's been on my mind pretty much every day? Faith. My faith. How it affects me. How it affects those around me. Am I that servant of God that He so wants me to be? Man I hope so. I just do my best. Taking care of fellowships here and at home have been priority 1A, and school is slowly taking some sort of quasi-back seat. More like the next seat over. Many people will scoff at the idea, and many have. Really,I don't know why, but the serving of others is the bigger desire.
This whole idea of serving comes from me interacting with the seekers, non-believers and those with shaky faith. Never have I done this much evangelizing as I have before. It's daunting. Scary even. What if you say something wrong? What if you lead your brother or sister the wrong way? They say, let God do His work. But because we are men, one cannot help but wonder, "Are you doing God's work?" Bring them up to my level? What level is there, when I am so low myself. In the eyes of God, we are just people.
That is to say, I'm not overwhelmed and hopeless. Not really. Just cautious. Hopeful, but cautious. I'm also hungry for that satisfaction that only God can give me. I wanna be pushed, because that's how I excel the most: when I'm surrounded by people that have the same hunger as I do. When people are wishy washy, man it just kills my vibe. We're a fellowship. We're seeking God, now, tomorrow and forever. Why are we so quiet about this hunger? Why do we have to be so Chinese?! So quiet. So reserved. No energy!
Give me energy guys.
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